Monday, October 20, 2014

The Selfie Society

When did this happen or should I ask how did this  happen?  This obsession with instant gratification, getting what you want, showing off, showing everything in your world to the world. I guess my age is showing. I grew up when charity was anonymous. We gave things to people in need without needing a tax break, we didn't need everyone to know we gave we just did because it was the right thing to do. We gave what we could.

A photo of family was taken with everyone in their best and we stood as a family. It was considered rude to 'hog' the spotlight. Photo's commemorated important and rare events such as a wedding, funeral or a graduation from high school or university. Special times were just that, something that did not occur often and was earned with hard work and effort.

What instigated this obvious rant you ask? I received a "selfie" in an email from my niece. She was at a Fine Dining Restaurant with her husband and his boss. It horrified me on so  many levels. The email bragged about how expensive everything was, that they ordered the most expensive entree's. I couldn't believe it. I felt like somehow I have failed to teach my niece anything about restraint and good manners.  The "selfie" showed a pretty young woman showing way too much cleavage, hamming it up to her cell phone...I don't know if she noticed the resentful glare from the waiter standing in the background. The email went on about how she got this and had that and it all cost so much and it made her friends die with envy. I wondered if she thanked her husbands boss? If she was gracious with the server, if the dress that showed way too much top covered the bottom?

Then it got me thinking about this new age of people getting what they want right now. The obsession with how they look and how people think they should look. How did this happen?

I know I was raised to believe I was responsible for myself. If I worked hard and was careful with my earnings I could save for what I wanted and live well. Bank debt was not a credit card but a truck loan, on a truck I used to go to work.

I loved my camera but it was not filled with self portraits and as I cruise my photo albums I find very few photos of me but a wonderful photo journey of places I have been and the people that have flowed through my life.

Now however with social media like facebook the obsession with self image seems to be overwhelming. Advertising promotes everything from botox wrinkle removal to teeth whiteners to "improve" your smile.

It confuses me sometime, women do not want to be seen as sex objects but dress in clothes that show everything, skinny jeans, low cut tops and insanely high heels. I remember when 5 or 6 inch high heels were considered.....shoes 'working women' wore [I don't mean Lawyer's either]. How can dressing like this not promote a sexual image of women? When we go to town for supplies and groceries we are continually amazed at how women dress...not just the young women either. Where is simple modesty? Where is the self respect we used to  have for ourselve or perhaps the self editing we used to use when we got clothes?

Now we are blasted with the "selfie", a photo that has only one purpose, to brag to the world your doing this, your seeing this, your shopping here, your going to this fancy place and of course your showing off who your kissing. Maybe the whole world doesn't need to know everything about you!

This may be a rant , in fact it is a rant, but sometimes we need to let our concerns out. Think before you send that next selfie, think before you get yourself that must have pair of spike heels, look at your image before you go out to dine, are you showing the world what they should not see? Are you bragging about what you have that someone else does not? Do you need to practice self control and responsibility? Think of what is truly important in your world, who loves you and why they love you? What you really need to be happy and self fulfilled and I suspect that selfie has not got a lot to do with your real world!

This  leads to one more question...am I blogging to show off to the world? Am I sharing too much of who I am, am I doing this to be cool? I hope not. I hope my words here can encourage and entertain the people who read them. I hope too that there is enough restraint in the photos, photos meant to inform and amuse as much as educate.

Well that is enough from this Crazed Cattlewoman, take care and God Bless you all!



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13 comments:

  1. phew! loved it!
    I agree about giving. That it should be done in private
    not your name on a building
    I have worn cute outfits and high heels, but I was with my husband....and he liked it.....well, those days are gone....cute stuff doesn't look good on an old lady....gosh Im going to be 64 soon...yikes
    and please share more...with pics!
    I like your blog and love reading about your days and thoughts
    I learn a lot about a different kind of life style

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    1. I am glad you liked it and age appropriate was in my mind too. I just felt this post was better photo free...food for thought so to speak.

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  2. Hi Fiona, strong article and well put. A couple of years back I went to visit my cousin. His son was there with his wife, who was wearing what I thought was a t-shirt that was a few sizes too small. Because of being too small, it was obviously stretched down way too far in the front.

    He was showing me pictures of his family vacation. One of their stops was at a Hooter's restaurant, and they had some photos of the ladies that worked there, standing with his wife and young child. I was just appalled. It's a free country and people can go eat where they choose, but I have never been to a Hooter's, and I certainly would never take my wife to that type of environment and insult her intelligence by pretending we were there for the food. I just don't know what to think anymore. That's part of why we quit television years and years ago. Good article.

    Frank

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    1. It does amaze me how people perceive one thing and do others. This summer we went to our local grocery store.It is run by some wonderful people and they expect their your employees to dress decently! You cannot say that for the customers. I don't mean working men in dirty clothes getting lunch I mean. We saw a mother with two little girls, I would say 8 to 10 years old. They were in make up and wearing tiny bikini tops and bottoms, They looked so "exposed" if that makes sense. As they came in the store people looked and turned away. You could tell it disturbed the customers. One of the women who manages the store watched a few moments and then went and said something to the mother. The woman took offense and shouted she wouldn't darken the door of this store again and left in a huff. The group of us at the checkout and some other traumatized people all said thank you. Someone had to say something but I doubt the mother learned anything. It was awful!

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  3. This is a great article! I share a lot on my blog and always worried that maybe it is much. But (as you may know cancels what I said before) I am trying to share with others who either can't have or want this life.
    I agree with you on the "Me" attitude...nobody cares for one another or themselves anymore. I saw a pic today that someone (a mother) shared of her 4 yr old daughter dressed in a strapless top with matching bottoms in a provocative pose that I found disturbing!!! This mother is always posting selfies and she is no better than who you spoke of. All I can say is we just have to keep trying to straighten it out.....God is watching!!

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    1. Thank you for your comment. We have to keep trying, children deserve to be children for as long as they can. Hopefully we can set an example of selflessness by giving what we can morally and physically to those around us.

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  4. The younger crowd know no different-everything is out there and they do not think twice about it, it is the culture they are raised in- as parents it is tough!
    definitely a me generation !

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    1. I was thinking, in every generation Parents want more for their children, each generation has had more. Somehow we have not been able to find a balance between enough and too much. I do know that things we work hard to get are so much more valued. Thank you for your comment. It is a real dilemma.

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  5. No respect for self or anything else. I always felt that if you dress and act like a slut, you deserve what you get. But then, I am from a different generation.

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  6. Fiona - just found you from Frank and Fern's blog (who i greatly admire!). i couldn't agree with you more...this generation of posting without thinking, sometimes doing it drunk or high, sometimes doing it just because they know of no other way to live - it is creepy and i wonder what this generation will do in their 40's and 50's. the world has become a very scary place - forget ebola, emp's, ISIS and all of that crap - what people are exposing themselves to...with all of this social media crap - it blows my mind!!!!

    i am glad to be 43, not have cable or television, don't twitter, don't have a facebook or any other social media account - only our blog.

    to touch on blogs a little - i think that a bunch of us learned a pile from others' blogs. and then we felt the need to share our experiences in the hopes that others could learn from all of us. we would never be where we are right now if we didn't learn from other peoples' blogs. and i can state definitely that i have learned diddely-squat from a selfie!!!!

    i would be very glad to add you to our blogroll...but i always ask permission first. you can check our blog at framboisemanor.blogspot.com...have a scan and make sure that you are ok with our blog and our links, and reply back here if you would like to exchange links. we exchange links with Frank and Fern already.

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    1. Thank you for your comment, I love to learn and the blog world can sure teach you a lot. I wish more people wanted to learn more about this incredible world we have than spend time so focused on having a 'good' time. I worry about the selfie mentality and the limitations it seem to express.

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  7. Fiona, I agree with you 100%. We watch the news from a Tulsa OK station, and one of the female newscasters looks to have had breast augmentation and she's really sticking them in our face. I feel this is highly inappropriate for a newscaster to show so much cleavage, in such tight clothing, and leaning forward with arms held back, to boot. At first I was hacked off and I thought, "What a show-off!" Then I started feeling like, "My gosh, what kind of empty spot does this woman have that she has to get attention in this way?" I guess it takes all kinds.

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    1. Ralph and I are amazed all the time at how people dress at work and how modesty has no meaning. Now living in an Amish community we really see modesty and you know the young women look beautiful and they do not expose themselves to everyone!

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